Directions:

Acquire ingredients from your local Omega Mart store and safely return to your dwelling. Once there, soak daikon pal in dairy liquid and let sit for 5 years, after which you may or may not want to return and procure more ingredients as some have been known to develop sentience without warning. Next, remove daikon from mixture and place items in incubation chamber for another 30 minutes. Remove when daikon raddish no longer shows unsavory symptoms but remember, do not leave in for more than 30 minutes. Any longer and process will need repeating to avoid causing a difficult spill. Dress daikon pal in lettuce clothing and enjoy.